Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Im part way to drunk.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
