at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize