Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
