She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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