The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
