sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
do nipples grow back?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
