My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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