in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
