What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
