fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You can't motorboat a personality
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho