She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
