i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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