Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol

(1-813): View more from Florida

well its been awhile since I've surfed

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(813): so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol (1-813): well its been awhile since I've surfed http://tfl.nu/lkwy

Replies (4) Good night (2053) Bad night (532)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.

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(443): Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry. http://tfl.nu/7406

Replies (19) Good night (857) Bad night (3230)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

This bar receipt from last night makes no sense

(573): View more from Missouri

You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total

(870): View more from Arkansas

I wish that would've worked

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(870): This bar receipt from last night makes no sense (573): You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total (870): I wish that would've worked http://tfl.nu/u8a6

Replies (24) Good night (3414) Bad night (763)
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(858): View more from California

Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.

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(858): Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them. http://tfl.nu/9mrx

Replies (22) Good night (6649) Bad night (1461)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono

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(732): i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono http://tfl.nu/0ij8

Replies (32) Good night (5362) Bad night (885)
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(904): View more from Florida

He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE

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(904): He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE http://tfl.nu/khu1

Replies (20) Good night (1151) Bad night (3614)
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(330): View more from Ohio

She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.

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(330): She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay. http://tfl.nu/hfdj

Replies (19) Good night (10743) Bad night (1352)
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(425): View more from Washington

I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.

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(425): I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely. http://tfl.nu/v43n

Replies (4) Good night (2929) Bad night (1782)
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(779): View more from Illinois

Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us

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(779): Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us http://tfl.nu/jk9n

Replies (2) Good night (2259) Bad night (807)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..

(856): View more from New Jersey

i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.

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(856): he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio.. (856): i wasnt really sure how to responde to that. http://tfl.nu/m794

Replies (9) Good night (636) Bad night (1654)
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(503): View more from Oregon

We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.

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(503): We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty. http://tfl.nu/32wc

Replies (9) Good night (764) Bad night (1495)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.

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(304): I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life. http://tfl.nu/wtpe

Replies (6) Good night (746) Bad night (1143)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?

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(203): Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish? http://tfl.nu/j5ph

Replies (2) Good night (658) Bad night (391)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours

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(412): Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours http://tfl.nu/cgpa

Replies (0) Good night (612) Bad night (448)
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(315): View more from New York

He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick

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(315): He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick http://tfl.nu/ogpi

Replies (5) Good night (285) Bad night (463)

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