ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.