Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.