Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(243): View more from

the bitch is dead man

(1-243): View more from

YOUR DOG DIED?

(243): View more from

no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.

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(243): the bitch is dead man (1-243): YOUR DOG DIED? (243): no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon. http://tfl.nu/0e8d

Replies (3) Good night (1385) Bad night (625)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.

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(812): Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse. http://tfl.nu/k7kh

Replies (36) Good night (5029) Bad night (912)
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(847): View more from Illinois

i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her

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(847): i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her http://tfl.nu/2g5w

Replies (12) Good night (1009) Bad night (4213)
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(619): View more from California

there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly

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(619): there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly http://tfl.nu/smco

Replies (6) Good night (882) Bad night (3657)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday

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(270): my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday http://tfl.nu/iucl

Replies (5) Good night (1557) Bad night (2147)
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(718): View more from New York

According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.

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(718): According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago. http://tfl.nu/y0dx

Replies (5) Good night (2506) Bad night (723)
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(404): View more from Georgia

He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.

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(404): He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday. http://tfl.nu/mk6n

Replies (14) Good night (1626) Bad night (702)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.

(732): View more from New Jersey

Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.

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(908): You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night. (732): Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming. http://tfl.nu/bgum

Replies (6) Good night (2089) Bad night (582)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?

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(678): Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend? http://tfl.nu/mjnu

Replies (15) Good night (1931) Bad night (891)
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(708): View more from Illinois

I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.

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(708): I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily. http://tfl.nu/de3q

Replies (3) Good night (2034) Bad night (490)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.

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(717): And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes. http://tfl.nu/hx7l

Replies (10) Good night (818) Bad night (450)
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(845): View more from New York

My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.

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(845): My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine. http://tfl.nu/uhg6

Replies (5) Good night (1266) Bad night (755)
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(219): View more from Indiana

"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."

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(219): "I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance." http://tfl.nu/fhmo

Replies (6) Good night (774) Bad night (362)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops

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(519): I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops http://tfl.nu/3fz9

Replies (3) Good night (587) Bad night (253)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything

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(610): I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything http://tfl.nu/3wxq

Replies (0) Good night (289) Bad night (437)

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