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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (563): View more from Iowa

  Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  Nah

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.

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