So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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