I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
