I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You ate ashes out of my bong
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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