Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
