A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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