Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
