My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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