pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
