Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
