wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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