Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
