literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
