i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
