Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
