I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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