Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
