we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
