Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
