After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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