I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
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Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
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Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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