One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize