i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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