I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
