i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
