I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
