..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
