Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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