READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
