Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
