I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
