I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
