My friends, they love my intelligence
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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