Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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