come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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