theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
