So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
