he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize
