Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
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The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
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I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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