I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
