Joe is yelling at the trees again.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
