Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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