You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize