no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
