Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
birth control should be required to get into college
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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